I didn’t have anything better to do yesterday so I thought I would drop by the weekly meeting of the People Outraged Over Our President (POOP) to check out their latest outrage and I was lucky enough to talk to the POOPhead himself.
“Well”, he said, “Obviously, we are still outraged over the fact that Hillary isn’t the president. Sure, Trump won the electoral college but, really, more people voted for Hilary than him and that’s what should count”.
“But”, I said, “You do know that the founding fathers set up the college to ensure equal representation from both small states and large states. That way big states like New York and California couldn’t dictate presidential winners. The rules were intended to provide a voice for all.”
“Yeah”, he said, his face flushing with irritation, “And as soon as we POOPers get to be in charge, we are gonna’ eliminate it. After all, just because he played by the rules doesn’t mean he should win”.
“Good luck with that. What else ya got?”
“Well, we just don’t like the judges he is appointing to the Supreme Court. First thing you know, those guys are going to be making decisions that are actually based on what is in the constitution instead of what should be in it.”
“Ah… isn’t that what they are supposed to do?””
“Maybe but the constitution should be a living document that changes with time. So we are going to add additional judges so as to interpret it by today’s standards. Like, what is so special about only 9 judges. It’s not like it’s a baseball team or something. And besides that, the constitution is old and outdated. I mean, it was written way back when they only had two sexes and collusion was not a crime.”
“Ah…last time I checked, there are only two sexes and collusion is not a crime. Conspiracy perhaps but not collusion. Anyway, seems to me that Roosevelt tried to do the same thing. Packing the Supreme Court, that is. But it didn’t work out so well for him. Anything else?”
“Sure, we are going to lower the voting age to 16. If we can get these kids early before they know any better, we will have them voting democrat forever.”
“Are you crazy? These are kids, for God’s sake. They are running around eating Tide Pods, snorting condoms, and rubbing bees wax in their eyes. Listen to them talk with every word a “like” or a “you know”. They are just barely housebroken, and you want them to pick our president. What a POOPy idea.”
“I don’t care as long as they vote against Trump. Of course, we really don’t have to worry about defeating him in an election because we are going to impeach him.”
“Really? What for? Has he done anything impeachable?”
“Hey, we will find a reason… If we look close enough at him, I am sure we will find a crime and then he’s gone. “Someone once said, “Show me the man and I will show you the crime” and that sounds good to me”
“Yeah… That someone was Lavrentiy Beria. He was Joseph Stalin’s secret police chief. Are you sure that Stalin is the one you POOPers want to emulate?”
“Whatever works. We just want Trump gone. And I think we can make it happen. Afterall, I am a POOPhead.”
“Yeah. I more ways than one….”
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