by Dick Pilling | Oct 7, 2019 | Just for Fun!
Lots of people think the question of the ages is “What came first, the Chicken or the Egg?” However, as a conservative, I believe the more appropriate – and timely – question is “What came first… poverty or democrat leadership?”
A little research discloses that the 10 poorest cities in the union include Detroit, Cleveland, Hartford, Dayton, Rochester, Newark, Jackson, Birmingham, San Bernardino, and Syracuse.
The major distinguishing traits of these unfortunate metropolises are their poverty rates that range from 29% to 39% and unemployment rates ranging from 11% to 22%. (more…)
by Dick Pilling | Jun 9, 2019 | Just for Fun!
My wife and I popped into the education store to shop for our kid’s education and began to browse the offerings on the various shelves.
“Look Jane”, I said. “Here is a really great package. It seems to concentrate on what they call “the Three R’s”. Real subjects instead of the touchy-feely stuff today.”
“Yes, Dick,” she said, And look, the men teachers wear jackets and ties, the women, dresses or suits. They look like teachers and the students respect them. Maybe even fear them a little. Best of all, the students are held accountable. Looks like they actually fail and re-do the year if they don’t master the subjects.”
“And Jane, did you notice there in the principal’s office? That little paddle. It’s called the “Board of Education”. Betcha they don’t have a discipline problem in this package. Let’s get it”
“Sorry, but this is obsolete and no longer available,” said the clerk, who appeared out of nowhere. “It was quite popular and very effective but was discontinued in the fifties as the education system became more preoccupied with providing students with self-esteem without making them work for it.”
“Well how about this one,” Jane said. “It provides almost the same product with great results. And it looks like you can put lots of kids into it, thereby reducing the per student cost. It’s in Japanese. Do you have one in English?”
“Sorry but it is not available in the US. It has never been translated because larger class sizes won’t work here. American kids are too undisciplined, you see. You need the add-on package of “Responsible Parents” who have already implemented the “Sit Still Shut Up and Listen To The Teacher or I Will Kick Your Butt” package. Sadly, “Responsible Parent” packages are becoming increasingly rare… Apparently phased out by the “My Kid Would Never Do That” package.”
“Well, here is another,” Jane said. “And I really like it. It looks like it minimizes the role of the state in the funding process.”
“Yeah,” I said, looking over shoulder. “It looks like the parents do not have to send their money to the state and hope some of it comes back to their district. The money is sort of attached to the kid. And the parent can then send the kid – and the money – to the school of their choice.”
“Hey, that’s a great idea,” said Jane. “If the school is good, then it attracts students. If it is bad, then no one goes to that school. Schools have to compete for the students – and money.”
“Uh huh, just like, say, a restaurant. If the food is good, people go there and it prospers. If it is bad, it fails. And disappears. More important, it looks the teachers are held accountable. And fired, if required.”
“That’s the European model,” said the clerk. “It’s not available here either. By and large, it seems that the teachers’ unions don’t really like that bit about firing incompetent teachers.”
“Well what about this one. Great results and it includes religious education and practical instruction in subjects that you need in everyday life. The curriculum is up to the parents themselves.”
Looking at it, the clerk said, “That one is available but, when you read the fine print, you can see it is the Home School package. The parents do determine the curriculum because they are, in fact, the teachers. This is not for everyone, though, because one or both of the parents need to be home to teach.
Well that won’t work for us. What is available?
“Well,” said the clerk, “The one most often ordered is the public education package. While it is pretty expensive, it is not very good. And most of them arrive broken.”
“Huh,” we said together.
“Yes,” she said. “It is a government monopoly costing thousands of dollars per student who are taught by seniority-based unionized teachers who can’t be fired and who have, over the past 30 years, dragged the American education system down to that of a third-rate banana republic.”
“Wait Honey, Jane yelled excitedly, “Look at this one! It has everything we want. And even if it is way over our budget, let’s get it”.
“Sorry”, said the clerk, shaking her head. “That one is completely full with a really long waiting list. It’s located in Washington DC and is used almost exclusively for sons and daughters of our politicians. You know, the ones that are telling us how good our school system is….”
by Dick Pilling | Apr 15, 2019 | Just for Fun!
I didn’t have anything better to do yesterday so I thought I would drop by the weekly meeting of the People Outraged Over Our President (POOP) to check out their latest outrage and I was lucky enough to talk to the POOPhead himself.
“Well”, he said, “Obviously, we are still outraged over the fact that Hillary isn’t the president. Sure, Trump won the electoral college but, really, more people voted for Hilary than him and that’s what should count”.
“But”, I said, “You do know that the founding fathers set up the college to ensure equal representation from both small states and large states. That way big states like New York and California couldn’t dictate presidential winners. The rules were intended to provide a voice for all.”
“Yeah”, he said, his face flushing with irritation, “And as soon as we POOPers get to be in charge, we are gonna’ eliminate it. After all, just because he played by the rules doesn’t mean he should win”.
“Good luck with that. What else ya got?”
“Well, we just don’t like the judges he is appointing to the Supreme Court. First thing you know, those guys are going to be making decisions that are actually based on what is in the constitution instead of what should be in it.”
“Ah… isn’t that what they are supposed to do?””
“Maybe but the constitution should be a living document that changes with time. So we are going to add additional judges so as to interpret it by today’s standards. Like, what is so special about only 9 judges. It’s not like it’s a baseball team or something. And besides that, the constitution is old and outdated. I mean, it was written way back when they only had two sexes and collusion was not a crime.”
“Ah…last time I checked, there are only two sexes and collusion is not a crime. Conspiracy perhaps but not collusion. Anyway, seems to me that Roosevelt tried to do the same thing. Packing the Supreme Court, that is. But it didn’t work out so well for him. Anything else?”
“Sure, we are going to lower the voting age to 16. If we can get these kids early before they know any better, we will have them voting democrat forever.”
“Are you crazy? These are kids, for God’s sake. They are running around eating Tide Pods, snorting condoms, and rubbing bees wax in their eyes. Listen to them talk with every word a “like” or a “you know”. They are just barely housebroken, and you want them to pick our president. What a POOPy idea.”
“I don’t care as long as they vote against Trump. Of course, we really don’t have to worry about defeating him in an election because we are going to impeach him.”
“Really? What for? Has he done anything impeachable?”
“Hey, we will find a reason… If we look close enough at him, I am sure we will find a crime and then he’s gone. “Someone once said, “Show me the man and I will show you the crime” and that sounds good to me”
“Yeah… That someone was Lavrentiy Beria. He was Joseph Stalin’s secret police chief. Are you sure that Stalin is the one you POOPers want to emulate?”
“Whatever works. We just want Trump gone. And I think we can make it happen. Afterall, I am a POOPhead.”
“Yeah. I more ways than one….”
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