by Dick Pilling | Apr 15, 2019 | Just for Fun!
I didn’t have anything better to do yesterday so I thought I would drop by the weekly meeting of the People Outraged Over Our President (POOP) to check out their latest outrage and I was lucky enough to talk to the POOPhead himself.
“Well”, he said, “Obviously, we are still outraged over the fact that Hillary isn’t the president. Sure, Trump won the electoral college but, really, more people voted for Hilary than him and that’s what should count”.
“But”, I said, “You do know that the founding fathers set up the college to ensure equal representation from both small states and large states. That way big states like New York and California couldn’t dictate presidential winners. The rules were intended to provide a voice for all.”
“Yeah”, he said, his face flushing with irritation, “And as soon as we POOPers get to be in charge, we are gonna’ eliminate it. After all, just because he played by the rules doesn’t mean he should win”.
“Good luck with that. What else ya got?”
“Well, we just don’t like the judges he is appointing to the Supreme Court. First thing you know, those guys are going to be making decisions that are actually based on what is in the constitution instead of what should be in it.”
“Ah… isn’t that what they are supposed to do?””
“Maybe but the constitution should be a living document that changes with time. So we are going to add additional judges so as to interpret it by today’s standards. Like, what is so special about only 9 judges. It’s not like it’s a baseball team or something. And besides that, the constitution is old and outdated. I mean, it was written way back when they only had two sexes and collusion was not a crime.”
“Ah…last time I checked, there are only two sexes and collusion is not a crime. Conspiracy perhaps but not collusion. Anyway, seems to me that Roosevelt tried to do the same thing. Packing the Supreme Court, that is. But it didn’t work out so well for him. Anything else?”
“Sure, we are going to lower the voting age to 16. If we can get these kids early before they know any better, we will have them voting democrat forever.”
“Are you crazy? These are kids, for God’s sake. They are running around eating Tide Pods, snorting condoms, and rubbing bees wax in their eyes. Listen to them talk with every word a “like” or a “you know”. They are just barely housebroken, and you want them to pick our president. What a POOPy idea.”
“I don’t care as long as they vote against Trump. Of course, we really don’t have to worry about defeating him in an election because we are going to impeach him.”
“Really? What for? Has he done anything impeachable?”
“Hey, we will find a reason… If we look close enough at him, I am sure we will find a crime and then he’s gone. “Someone once said, “Show me the man and I will show you the crime” and that sounds good to me”
“Yeah… That someone was Lavrentiy Beria. He was Joseph Stalin’s secret police chief. Are you sure that Stalin is the one you POOPers want to emulate?”
“Whatever works. We just want Trump gone. And I think we can make it happen. Afterall, I am a POOPhead.”
“Yeah. I more ways than one….”
by Dick Pilling | Apr 15, 2019 | Letters to the Editor
My new favorite person is Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Really! And coming from an unabashed conservative like myself. Who would’ve thunk?
You see, while some suggest that her mental processes are adversely impacted by a bizarre form of cerebral constipation, I applaud her unique ability – yea verily, her talent – to reduce complex arguments to where they are easily understood, even by millennials. Especially by millennials. She even speaks “millennial” by peppering her perennially pubescent patter with the “likes” and “you knows” associated with the “teen speak” heard on today’s college campuses. You really must admire someone who speaks her mind. Even if it may illustrate how little she has…
Of course, I’m not sure if she really believes her piously preposterous pronouncements and is truly a democrat or socialist or whatever fellow travelers call themselves these days. I mean, how could she? For instance, does she really believe that our nation is imperiled by flatulent cows? Or that we have 12 years before the world ends? Or that a 70% tax rate is fair and reasonable and or even practical? That, to survive, we must surrender our basic freedoms to an ever-growing government?
Or could she be a devious, deeply-placed double agent, a calculatingly cunning conservative implacably intent on illuminating the inanities of the far left by actually articulating their beliefs and, in so doing illustrate their impracticality and sheer idiocy?
So…is she a duplicitous double agent? Or just another dreary democrat?
Either way, you go girl!
by Dick Pilling | Apr 15, 2019 | Letters to the Editor
Once again, we find that the main-stream media has been caught “leaning” to the left – or perhaps better dubbed “lurching” to the left – in its daily reportage. Of course, the term reportage is usually taken to mean an accurate rendition of “facts” relative to a happening by which the public may be appraised of an event. And, while we know all too well that the main-stream media frequently favors fantasy over fact – especially if it can place conservatives in an unfavorable light – rarely are they caught in such a blatant “egg on face” situation as with the Jussie Smollet incident.
For those who may not know, TV personality Jussie Smollet, purportedly on his way back to his apartment after late night meal at a Subway restaurant, was supposedly attacked by a pair of right-wing thugs who allegedly beat him, threatened him with a noose, and poured bleach on him while yelling “Make America great again” and praising President Trump. CBS, NBC, and ABC devoted 157 minutes to the event.
Not surprisingly, it now appears that this was a hoax. I mean, really? Who would have guessed? At 2:00 AM on a frigidly cold Chicago night, 2 thugs armed with a noose and bleach were hanging around a subway restaurant waiting for the chance to violently accost and assault a gay, liberal, black man??? Really???
Compare this with another attack wherein four black thugs bound and gagged an innocent, defenseless 18-year-old mentally disabled white man. He was beaten, kicked, and made to drink from a toilet bowl. The suspects laughed at him and shouted, “F— Trump” and “F— white people.” The entire attack was captured on video – by the attackers, no less – and streamed live on Facebook. The networks gave this a whopping 27 seconds of airtime.
Please note the difference in coverage… a highly dubious event – based solely on the word of the “victim” – receives wall to wall coverage but another event – with video proof – is given scant attention by these same news stations. Wonder why?? Because maybe it just doesn’t fit the preferred narrative?? Ya’ think?
Obviously, our leftist media will seize any opportunity to condemn President Trump and fellow conservatives yet will give bare mention to anything that would show liberals in poor light. No wonder many of us refer to it as “fake news”.
So, pay attention! And be skeptical! And don’t forget to say “Really??” whenever you see or hear a “headline” relative to politics. Especially if it is anti-Trump. Because, really, most of the time it just ain’t real…
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